In the beginning, man fell now man faces eternal hell we can't be good enough can't save ourselves though it seems tough so God in his mercy sent his Son through Him ore broken nature would be made one with His life, death, burial and resurrection he showed us God's affection His blood saves us not something any one of us does so the ball's in our court, believe or don't believe, therein lies our reprieve For God so loved, His son died for us on the cross He cried! and heaven now awaits for all who enter at the narrow gate.
The day started at 7:30. I had to get up shave and get to church to run the sound and teach my Sunday school class. I teach the college and careers class and I'm working and trusting in the Lord to grow it in a big way this year. We had a good discussion in class about the roll of government in removing Christianity from schools. The singing during the worship hour was great. Matt and Ashley did incredible with their song. Brother Scott did great, and there was a visiting youth pastor whose name I forget who was awesome. Pastor Matt's preaching was great too. After the service one brother got saved! Then tonight brother Jerry sang and brother Mike, both very good, as were the teens and the testimony from Maycee. Tonight was a preacher boys night. Wes went first and did great. Brad followed and did great as well. I went last. To say I was nervous would be an understatement, I believe you could have wrung a kiddie pools worth of liquid from my shirt tonight. It wasn't so much the amount of people, but rather the fact that I had some family there tonight. Everyone has told me I did great, but as much as I like hearing that, it scares me that I might fall into the trap of self praise and start taking away from how God is using me. All the nervousness went away with the teens singing and Maycee's testimony. All the tears they shed reminded me that there is way more pressure on them to conform and act in a specific way than I have on me, and if they could humble themselves and overcome that, what was my problem. The Holy Spirit led me with a firm hand with this message, from day one He inspired me and showed me the things I needed to preach. They say I looked relaxed from the pulpit, I say I was no longer there at that point. I have been a coward my whole life, afraid to stand in front of people and do anything, the only way I got up there tonight was with God holding me up. I pray I remain of a humble spirit, that I don't start trying to lead myself. It was an honor to get the opportunity to preach, and it was uplifting to hear all the words of encouragement about how well I did, and then to get home and see my facebook page covered with messages from others telling me how well I had done, or how much they enjoyed it. It was a privilege to preach the word of God. I count it a blessing, and now turn to preparing for my next chance to preach in two weeks at the crossroads.
It's a strange thing, I have been so confident for three weeks about what I was going to preach. I have had the topic down cold in my head, the things I wanted to say so clear. But reading over it now, less than twenty-four hours from when I am to preach it, it feels inadequate. I think I know why, it feels like I have taken so much of what I wanted to say out of the sermon, and really, I think that's for the best. The fear that was building in me because I was so confident in what I was preaching, was that it was becoming more about my words and less about God's glory. It's only my second time preaching and so many people told me I did good the first time, that part of me now dreads not hearing that I did good. My head has done a one-eighty in the past few days. I am concerned with the things that should be afterthought, and unconcerned with the things that should be bothering me. And maybe it all boils down to who I will be preaching to. My dad, who doesn't go to church, is supposed to be there. My mom who goes to another church. Two aunts and an uncle on my dads side. I think one uncle and my grandparents on my moms side. A cousin of mine that doesn't go to church and his wife. I haven't really thought about what it will be like to preach to people I go to church with, it's preaching to family that's kind of getting to me. I don't know how many of them are saved, I think they all say they are saved, but I don't "know." And that weighs on me. Do I have enough of God's word in there to lead someone to salvation, or is my message aimed more at firing up the congregation for God, to get them out there knocking down doors to tell people about Jesus. And for the ones that don't go to church, being that they'll be there this time, am I missing the only chance I have to give them the gospel? It weighs heavy on my shoulders, and it makes me sick to my stomach to think that their eternal fate may in any way rest upon what I say tomorrow night. That my words might push them away from Christ. That I might block their view of the cross because my words are to harsh. That they might think they have plenty of time to decide because my words are too soft. I have been called by God to preach. I pray that it's his words and not my own tomorrow night. I take comfort that when the time comes, the Holy Spirit will be with me. If it wasn't I couldn't do this. I think anyone that knows me can attest to the fact that less than two years ago you couldn't have gotten me up in front of a crowd for anything, much less get me to speak in front of a crowd. Heck, eight months ago I was still playing the background. I know that it is only Christ working in me that allows me to stand before men and proclaim the Gospel of Christ. I know that without Him I would be silent, hiding in a corner somewhere. Walking in the church and sitting silently until the service was over and then leaving, not really talking with anyone. I knew when I started attending church again in 2009 after twelve years away, I knew that I was being drawn to something big. Huge even. I could feel the drawing of myself, I could see a clear path before me. Things just continued to fall into place to make it possible for me to attend a Bible institute. To have a job schedule so I could be on call for running the sound system at odd times. To have the freedom from a family that wold keep me from being able to fulfill all that God has for me to do. And it seemed so clear a year and a half ago, and still seems so clear now what God called me back for. My time being a spectator Christian is over, it's time for me to learn to lead the team, to be a starter on the field for every play. I just wish I didn't screw up as much as I do. I wish I didn't feel like a worm crawling in the dirt of the earth. But I remind myself that there are many lost souls out there that feel the same way, and they need someone who isn't afraid to get down in the dirt to find them and drag them to a meeting with the most Holy God in heaven. I may feel worthless at times, but the Bible is full of stories of God using small things, week things, people that had written themselves off, that society had written off. The Bible is full of these stories of God doing big things with those He has chosen and called out. I'm not putting myself out there as the chosen one of God, I just want to do what He wants me to do. I don't want to fight His will for my life anymore. I want to go where He sends me, I want Him to use me in a way that brings Him glory. And if no one gets saved directly through Christ working in me, but I did what God asked of me, if I was obedient to the end then I can be happy with that, if that be God's will for my life. I just don't want His will to be for me to preach to thousands, and I was content to just sit at home, teach my Sunday school class, run the sound during church, and preach every now and again. I want to be obedient to the one who knew me before the earth was formed. I want to be what He made me to be. And I want to preach the words He gives me, because the words He gives me, even if they seem not as powerful, or not as pretty, not as eloquent as the words I had running around in y head, words of my choosing, I know that His words, no matter how they look to my eyes, are the words that hold the real power. His words spoke all of creation into existence. His words became flesh and dwelt among us, dying upon the cross for our sins and being resurrected three days later fulfilling the scriptures. His word is quick and powerful and sharper than any twoedged sword piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit and of the joints and marrow and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. His words spoke to a raging storm and the storm stopped. His word called a dead mans name and Lazarus rose from the grave. His word said He would never leave me, nor forsake me. For that reason, I am not afraid of what tomorrow holds, I know that He has called me for this purpose, I know that He would not call me just to abandon me to my own devices. When Jesus walked on water amidst the storm, do we forget that He had sent the disciples ahead of Him. So either He didn't know it was going to storm, or He did, and He wanted them to go through the storm for a reason, so lastly, if I go through a storm tomorrow night, I know that it is to refine me into what God has called me to be, to give Him the greater glory that He is able to use a man that can't say two words in front of people, can preach with God by his side.
This is my independence day so look out world out of the way gonna be some change tearing off my flesh putting on the new man that's what I'ma do put myself to death all these worldy things putem in a grave then I'll let you bury them don't need'em any more see today I'm at war gonna see the difference in the way I hold my stance yeah them words you got hurt but I'm dead to'em now buried with my self my ego's dead to man hold my head up filling with the spirit set myself on fire running for the LORD and you know I'll never tire looking forward to the day when I leave this all behind but I'll be fightin' til I retire all in I am and you heard that right no gloves needed this a bare knuckle fight it's a war within my self and that's why I died buried in the water raised up in Christ walking in the spirit just too tired of living in mans world listen to them lies that even turn you fam just can't see it what some trials are for so I pray to God and ask Him give me wisdom for this war He'll never leave me nor forsake me and I can't be plucked from his hand so I rest secure in this and serve Him how I can I know I'm not the best my life ain't perfect that God above He loved me anyway so today's a new one full of promise and hope and let that ole devil think he's got me on the ropes I know the one that wins it the one that's on my side and though you may not believe He's the reason I'm alive so I'll stand firm in belief and worry not for tomorrow cause no matter where I go the LORD is sure to follow and I know He's with me directing my path I see His light shining in the darkest of the night and though I've been down I know that I'll arise Just like my God in Heaven Jesus Christ, The Messiah He's my protector and my keeper a shepherd to my flock I remember very clearly hearing when He knocked I opened up the door and opened up my life to praise, worship and serve Him even if it cost my life cause he breathed life in me and it's nothing to gain the world cause if I lose my soul I've surely lost it all So war has come and casualties will fall sins of flesh, sins of mind all gonna be left behind laying down my life at the Saviors feet that he might judge me worthy of all that I've been given So goodbye flesh I know you no more today's the day I finally fight this is my declaration of war
This is the attitude I get at times. See I listen to Christian rock and rap. I'm not really down with the country sounding or old time bluegrass sounding stuff. And I invariably, (I really hope I used that word correctly) end up getting someone that tells me my music is "full of the devil", or it "sounds too much like what they play in the bars." I am told of the wholesome Christian values of "gospel" groups. Look at how they carry themselves, they aren't loud, they dress respectably, they __________. While my purple haired freaks are nothing but loud, "I can't understand what they're saying," how do you know they're Christian? Well for me, I research, I find out as much as I can about the groups I like, have you did the same for the gospel groups you like? Or do you just take their word for it when they swing through your church, and set up their table in back to sale some cd's. I'm not saying all of this to say there is anything wrong with your music of choice, so let me change the subject a bit to books. See I like books and here lately I have been purchasing books to better help me preach, to use as study aides. My grandfather was telling me that preachers called by God don't need any help, they don't need to read commentaries, that those types of books are harmful, that a preacher called by God should be able to step up in the pulpit and preach something he didn't study on, should be able to preach without any notes. And maybe that's true, maybe I just haven't studied enough to feel comfortable enough to fly by the seat of my pants as it were. But I think if it's important enough for God to give it to me, that he would want me to take some notes, to make sure I stay on the point he has given me, and not drift off onto a point that is strictly from me. As for commentaries, if I'm not to use them, should I not listen to preaching either, if I do, am I not just getting that preachers opinion of the scriptures the same as he had written a commentary on them? He told me that I should be careful with those books, since they were written by man, the devil could be in them. So the devil is in my books, he's in my music. Here's a song I'm really liking right now, Salt and the Light by Sent by Ravens.
So the devil is in there, guess I should have told you that before you listened to the song, right? This is my point to all this, sure, the devil could be in there, 1 Peter 5:8 says, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:" So yeah, he out there, and I am vigilant. When Noah got off the ark, the devil was there too. But I'll do you one better, there was once a place that was as perfect as could be, it was called the Garden of Eden, and guess who was there? Satan was! As perfect and unspoiled as Eden was, satan was there. When Christ chose his disciples, one of the twelve was a devil, and Christ himself chose them! How then must I think it strange that satan might be in some words of man, or song I listen to? I don't, like I said, I'm vigilant, but are you as vigilant towards the "gospel" groups you listen to? That's right, I'm saying that the devil is just as likely to be in those pretty gospel groups you like as those rocking Christians I like. But many won't hear that, I know from experience, I am told that I am speaking non-sense. Maybe it's the way I always made my argument in the past. I would be told that the devil used things that were pleasing to the eye, the ear, whatever, to get to you, and I would respond that he couldn't use my music to get to this person as they didn't find my music pleasing, I would say that since they found gospel music to be pleasing, that is where satan would try to reach them. Again, I was told it was foolishness. Apparently satan would be unable to tempt good God loving gospel singers, or to use them, to promote a false gospel, no, couldn't happen. They're "good" God loving people. Luke 18:19 says, "And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? none is good, save one, that is, God." None good, not even Christ himself was to be called good, and he was spotless! Look through the Bible, look at the chosen of God who have faltered, but no, not your gospel group, I remember, they're "good," not like those heathenish groups I listen to. Look at what the people that listen to that music look like, they say, there is something wrong with them or they wouldn't dress like that, it's the devil in them they say. Maybe I missed it, but did Judas dress differently that the other disciples? My point is, satan is no more likely to be in my music than he is yours. There are many that use versions of the Bible other than the King James Version, and are worried that my music is leading me astray. Now I want you to look out at those "purple haired freaks," do you think they need Christ? Are your gospel singers going where they are at to tell them about the gospel of Christ? Or are they just coming to church functions to sing? I know some who are going out there where they are, bands like Fireflight and Lecrae. There are many, many, many others, that are going out and trying to reach those that aren't in church with the gospel. If you're only singing in the church, you aren't going to reach those that aren't in church. I'm not writing this to change minds, or to influence your listening habits, it was just eating at me all day, that one type of music or person was susceptible to fall to satan while another was protected from him by virtue of how they dressed and sang. We send missionaries all over the world to reach the lost, churches serve as sponsors to support these mission fields, and yet, we walk daily beside the lost and won't open our mouths to speak the truth to them. We will separate ourselves from other Christians just because their Christian music doesn't live up to what you think Christian music should be. We separate ourselves from brothers that will need us, and if anything, that is how satan uses the music to get to us, so that when we are down, when we are at our most vulnerable to attack from the devil, when things have been going badly and we just need someone to be our brother, he's instead isolated us, by telling us it mattered what music we listened to. And in isolation, the satan devours us. Just think about this for a minute, when the lion is about to go grab a gazelle, does he get the one that is in the midst of the herd, or does he get that one that's weak, that is slow, that is separated from the herd? A lot of folks have their herd at churches all over the country, and there they feel safe from the attack, so why do we wound our brothers and leave them vulnerable. Why when a person misses church are they more afraid of what will be said about the one missed day, than about missing what God has in store for them. Why are they so afraid of what will be said they they stay out rather than return. How come we don't welcome them back and lift them up, rather than say things that, whether we intended them to or not, wound them. I was out of the pack for a while, and I was very weak, even going to church felt weird to me. Satan was licking his chops, he was ready to dig in, he had a meal ready to go. Then things got bad for me, I lost my wife, I was truly alone. I had family that helped me, my brother that looks out for me more than I ever thought possible, and it makes me sad sometimes because I'm the older brother and I feel like I should be looking out for him, but just when satan had his teeth bared, lunging for me, claws outstretched, my brother grabbed me by the arm and pulled me into God's waiting arms. Things haven't been the same since, and I'm still growing, still trying to serve more. But what if I hadn't had a brother to pull me from that fate? Many don't, and fall right to satans waiting teeth. In twelve years out of church, I can't remember the church I had grown up going to trying to reach me, to find out if I was okay, to see if they could get me back into church. I had an uncle that went there that did, but if we are brethren, I don't live in that big of a city, and there are churches everywhere, and the more I think about it, the more it breaks my heart, that there are any out there without a brother to call on when satan is at the door. How many have descended into hells on earth without ever having the gospel delivered in a loving way? So many going to hell, and we're busy arguing over what music I should listen to. It's a shame.
Bible institute has started, study, study, study. One thing I keep thinking though is, Lord use me. Like I'm sitting around waiting on him to say, "It's your time James."
Waiting on a sign like He didn't already come down and die for me, then rise again, as if my breathing each new day isn't sign enough for me.
Looking for that experience, you see some people talk about what God has done for them and they start crying at the beauty of it, the awesome power of God in their lives.
It's not that I don't have a moment where God pulled me through a difficulty, but it doesn't seem to get me like it does them and sometimes it makes me wonder if there is more coming, if I haven't had that moment yet that really turns things around, like Saul on the road to Damascus.
I used to sit around and think things like, "God use me," "Draw me to you Lord," "burden me for the lost."
The reality I see now, so clearly is this,if you recognize a need, are you already burdened. If you are asking God to put something on your heart, isn't it already on your heart?
Get off the couch and go do what you know God is calling you to do. Don't ask for a burden, be burdened!
I'm putting God first and James second.
If you need a church to come to, please come join us at Liberty Baptist Church, 475 S. Shiloh Rd. York, SC 29745 10:00am Sunday School, 11:00am and 6:00pm worship services, 7:00pm Wednesday night Bible study.
James Lingerfelt’s personal testimony of salvation: or how I got from there to here.
Well in the beginning, my beginning, not the let there be light one, I was born to Albert and Fredda. As a child I went to church with my mother as far back as I can remember. I was Rev. Raymond Walters preacher buddy by the time I was eight or so. I would go to the back of the church at the end of service to shake hands with those leaving and wish them a good day. I thought at the time I would be a preacher one day. I started to have thoughts about salvation, and I had heard people talk about how God would whisper to you, call you, how He would knock and you were to open to Him, and if you didn’t open then, you would never hear Him knock again. It’s funny what kids pick up isn’t it. So I sat there in church, and I thought that when God knocked, I would feel it, as if my back was a wooden door, and I would hear the echo of the knocking in my head and know it was time to go to the altar. And I was scared, that I wouldn’t hear Him call, that I wouldn’t feel it when He knocked and I would go to hell. So I finally started to ask questions, and I had a sit down meeting with the pastor and his wife and I was given books to read. The books were made to help a child understand salvation, putting it in terms a child might better be able to understand. And after I read them, another meeting with the pastor and he would ask me questions to see if I understood what salvation was and that I understood how serious the question of salvation was. And he approved that I understood, and it was up to me to come down to the altar when I was ready. Shortly thereafter he died. The story is told that a light was on in the church and he told his wife God was calling him back home before stepping out the door. If I remember correctly, somewhere between the parsonage and the church he fell dead of a heart attack. I went to the receiving friends for him, I was the little preacher buddy, I wanted to go. It’s the earliest funeral experience I can remember.
Time passed, we were between pastors at the church, building a new building, and finally after the new building was up and a new pastor selected, I went down to the altar and accepted Christ as my personal savior. I was around ten at the time. Within five years, I had lost confidence in my salvation, I was back out n the world really. I wasn’t really trying to serve God. I wasn’t doing anything bad, but I wasn’t serving. For the longest time I blamed the church, there was no program to help shepherd new converts, to help them grow in their understanding of the Bible. And I was a middle kid, there was a large older group, and a large younger group, but really no one my age. So I went and sat by myself sometimes. In that fifth year we went to camp Longridge. It was great, people were saved, and I rededicated my life. But again, there was no guidance at the church, no one was communicating to me how I should be living my life to serve God. I never drank, never did any drugs and only smoked one cigarette in my life. In my mind, I wasn’t that bad. I was lying to myself. I turned eighteen, and no longer being under the control of my mother, I quit going to church. I didn’t see what it could offer me. I had been living in church my whole life, and what did I have? I wasn’t really friends with anyone at church, a few of the boys, I would even say, shared an adversarial relationship with me. I was saved, I wasn’t committing any “big” sins, it wouldn’t hurt to miss church every once in a while. I was still lying to myself, but twelve years passed in a flash. I had gotten married in that time, I had a son. I had a brush with death when a drunk driver rear ended the truck I was riding in ejecting me over his suv, landing on my head on the asphalt behind the vehicle. I walked away. I went to church that Sunday, because I knew God was giving me a warning. I had promised Him things when I dedicated my life to him. That was in the middle of the twelve years, I only went that one time. Sure I went for my brother’s wedding, for his daughters baby dedication, for mother’s day with my mom. On June 16, 2009, I discovered that my wife had been having an affair. My world was shattered, but I thought, now that I know she’ll come home and everything will be okay, I’ll forgive her and we’ll move on. Except she didn’t come home. I didn’t know where to turn. My brother had been trying to get me back into church for years, but like I said, I wasn’t going before. But funny thing is, I had still said my prayers all those years, and for the last month I had started thinking every Saturday night that I should get the family up and we should go to church. They had a new preacher, and I had been out for so long, but every Sunday morning, I would find an excuse to stay in bed. And for three or four months, as part of those prayers, I had prayed the same thing every night, “Dear Heavenly Father, please make me a better Christian.” I knew I was missing something inside, I even knew what it was, but I kept finding reasons not to go and get that missing piece, to make myself whole, and I had been missing that piece for so long. So after the discovery of the affair, I got myself dressed and headed into church. I want to think it was that first Sunday morning after the discovery, but it might have been that night, so many things from back then are fuzzy, but I’ll tell you what I remember. I got out my old Bible, the one I got when I got saved, it was torn on the cover, had stains, it had seen better days even though it had rarely been read. I went into the back of that church and sat down as close to the back as I could. I remember my brother coming back and sitting with me, even though he normally sat up front, he seemed so happy that I was there. I remember him introducing me to the preacher. I remember that before the offering they took the time to turn and greet their neighbors, and having seen this in church before I assumed that you would turn and shake the hands of the people that were near you, but nope, not here. They were walking around, fellowshipping, shaking hands, smiling, laughing. There were people dressed like me, people dressed in suits, and they shook hands and hugged as if there were no difference in the clothes on their backs. I had never felt so at home in a church, and that’s what I felt, like I was at home finally. I knew maybe three people’s names that day. I remember the tears, mine. From the first song sang, to the special sung, to the message preached. I sat there in the back and cried, a few times fighting back sobs as I sat there, trying not to make any noise. When the service ended I felt new. I felt like a weight had been taken down from my shoulders, something I had been carrying for far too long. I felt happy for the first time in years. I realize now that I experienced something then, that I had never experienced before. For the first two months I only missed three regular services. I haven’t missed any since. I went to a tent meeting a month after I started going there, three of the five days. I remember people trying to get me to eat but I was so weird back then about eating around people that I just said no thank you. I helped put up chairs that night. A few months after I started going I started going to Sunday School, first the mens class, and then the New Converts class. I was shown how to live as a Christian serving God. My life started to change, my priorities started to change. I was listening to 95% secular music when I started attending, now I may listen to only 1 or 2% secular music, the rest from Christian artist. I stopped watching movies. I cut my tv watching in half. My wife didn’t come back, I forgave her anyway. I changed from the inside out. I used to be a person, afraid of the world, afraid of life. I was afraid because I didn’t have Jesus living in me all day every day. I’m not afraid any more. He is with me always.
I love writing and am rediscovering that passion. I love my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and want to tell as many people as I can about him and what he has done for me.
Posts
